Box of 'Nip
by Rhov
Summary: Loke goes crazy over catnip, but could something more develop while he's "high"?
1. Catnip Giftbox

_A/N:** 1337kitsune** and **Fallen Kitsunee** have started a hilarious trendy... Loke+Catnip. Those two write the fluffiest, crackiest stories, so now it's my turn to try my hand at this. Since I have a cat and have always been around felines, I know how they react to "the good stuff."_

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Fairy Tail_, but I'm willing to adopt the cute Lion!  
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><p><strong>Box of 'Nip<strong>

a _Fairy Tail_ fanfic

by Rhov

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Chapter 1

**Catnip Giftbox**

Lucy walked home along the wall lining the river that flowed through Magnolia. She hummed happily as she fingered a protection bracelet with dangling charms of a lion, tiger, panther, jaguar, ocelot, and other large cats. Loke said it came from the Spirit World and would protect her from anything that threatened their love.

Love! Seriously, what was that fluffy-haired playboy talking about?

"Be careful, miss," a passing boatman shouted.

She waved it off. "Thanks!" Her eyes did not leave the bracelet.

It was awfully cute. Protective or not, she would have worn it purely because it was both playful and classy, made of solid gold with inlaid precious stones for the cats' eyes. She wanted to get something for him, but what could she possibly get a Spirit?

"It can't be anything he can't take back with him," she decided, talking to herself while Plue followed and commented with occasional agreements of _Puun_. "That means it has to be something perishable. Food? I wonder if Loke likes cheese or milk. Or fish. What types? Well, every cat likes tuna. Or is he not that sort of cat?"

She put her hands behind her head and kept her balance without looking down.

"Maybe I should ask Happy or Carla...but wouldn't they also suggest fish or cheese? Maybe a fancy meal at that nice seafood restaurant with the cute..." She shook her head. "No! Bad Lucy! Someone like him would interpret that as a date, and then I'd never hear the end of it. Besides, if I bought him food, he'd insist I feed it to him."

She frowned and hopped off the wall. There was a pet store nearby, so she decided a little browsing would not be bad.

"And what could I ask the workers? 'Hey, I have a friend who's a lion and I want to get him a gift.' Sure! Like that would work."

She looked through the store, unsatisfied with the dangle toys and squeaky mice. She squealed at the puppies and kittens that clambered for attention. She looked at the exotic birds, colorful fish, and mice racing in their wheels.

_Bad Lucy! Stop looking at the cute pets, focus on a gift!_

Finally something caught her eye. "I wonder..." She giggled at the thought, grabbed the box of catnip, and paid for it. "If he hates it, I can give it to Happy, or brew it with my tea."

When she got home, she pulled out her Keys. "Open the Gate of the Lion! Leo!" There was a brilliant flash, and the wild-haired, strawberry-blond Celestial Spirit stood in front of her grinning the smile he used to charm ladies. Loke's blue-tinted sunglasses gleamed with mischief. His suit was tailored finely, with a deep green button-up shirt that matched his eyes, and a yellow and black tiger-striped tie that seemed just a bit garish.

"You rang, Princess?"

She swallowed with a loud gulp. It was getting harder to look at him without blushing. "I...I...uh..." _Not now, Lucy, focus, focus!_ "Yeah, I wanted to thank you for the bracelet and...I got..." She suddenly felt hesitant. Here he gave her a golden charm bracelet, and she was repaying him with chopped up dried leaves! She felt small and cheap.

Loke sniffed deeply. "Is that...?" His deep green eyes widened. "Lucy, did you...? Oh no. Not good. Uh..." He looked around frantically. "Okay, uh, lock your door and...and...curtains. Yes. Close them."

"Huh?" she asked in confusion. Why was he freaking out?

"C-c-cat-catnip." He began to race around. "Lock lock lock! Door! Lock door! Yep-yep-yep." He locked her front door and zipped over to the window. Suddenly, he stopped short, stared at her curtains, and giggled.

Giggled?

"They dangle," he laughed, and flipped the curtains around. "Dangly...fun!" He suddenly shook his head. "No, close them. Close everything, Lucy. They can't see me like this. It's embarrassing!"

He looked back at her with a flushed face. He rushed at her so fast, she dropped the shopping bag. The box hit the floor and scattered catnip all over.

"Aww, you really did get me some." He purred and rubbed his head against her shoulder.

Lucy cried out and shoved him away. "What the...? Loke, what's wrong with you?"

"Catnip," he said, and suddenly said rapidly, "Nip-nip-nip-nip-nip!"

He raced off to the kitchen. Lucy knelt over to pick up the tin and scooped as much catnip as possible back inside. Stupid stuff! Did it really affect normal cats like this? Of course, Loke was much bigger than a cat.

"It...it...**DANGLES!**" Loke shouted gleefully from the kitchen, and she heard something crash.

"This was a really bad idea," she lamented, and began to jog over to see what broke.

Loke raced out and ran straight into her. She fell backwards and skidded across the floor, only to find Loke on top of her. He looked down at her with a massive smile, not about to climb off. She blushed fiercely at their position.

"Loke, you're...you're sort of..."

"Llllllucy," he purred. "You smell...really good."

She put her hands up to push him off. "Loke, don't..."

He leaned his nose in close and sniffed her hands. She squealed and pulled away.

"You touched the catnip. You smell...rrrrrrreally good."

"I don't like how you're rolling your tongue," she whimpered.

He closed his eyes and slowly leaned in closer. She stiffened, terrified he would try kissing her. Instead she felt something...fuzzy. She peeked one eye open to see Loke's ginger hair rubbing against her. A deep purr rumbled in his chest.

"You silly overgrown tomcat," she chuckled as worry melted away. "At least get off of me."

He immediately obeyed and sat on his haunches. As soon as she got into a sitting position, his head flopped back down into her lap. His cheeks rubbed against her legs, making her blush more. Suddenly, he yanked his shirt out from his slacks and raised it to his chest. Lucy cried out and covered her eyes, but nothing more happened. She looked again to see he had exposed his firm abs to her.

"That's...feline submission, right?" she said nervously. "A cat shows off its belly to show it submits to its master."

"Mmmm...masterrrrrrrrr." His tongue twirled, and he purred louder, happy with her.

"Heh, cute. I'm really sorry about this. I had no idea. Do you—I don't know—want anything?" she asked uncertainly.

"Ears rubbed," he muttered.

Lucy laughed tensely as her fingers ran through his soft orange hair and down to his ears. Loke purred louder and rolled around on his back. "My fault, I guess. Sheesh, I should've gone with the tuna."

Loke sat up fast. "What? Tuna? Where, where?" He leaped up and ran off fast to the kitchen. "Don't smell it here." He raced to the entry area, sniffed around, and even took a deep whiff of her shoes.

"Hey, don't smell those," she shouted.

"Tunaaaaa!" he yelled, and zipped off fast to her bedroom. "Where where where?"

Lucy rubbed a throbbing vein out of her forehead. She looked at the box of catnip. She had to get rid of that horrible stuff or the effect would never wear off.

"I'll be right back. Don't..." She heard him crash into something and giggle manically. "...break anything. Well, I just hope I still have a house when I get back. I'm locking you in, okay? Do you hear me?" She waited, but she heard a feral laugh instead. "Right. Just keep yourself entertained." She began to leave. "Stupid lion."

As soon as she turned the door handle, Loke flew at her from out of nowhere and attacked her so hard she also fell face-first into the street. "Lucyyyyyyy! Don't go. Don't leave me. I wanna stay with youuuuuu!" he whined loudly and he gently clawed at her arm to pull her back in.

"Sheesh, I've gotta get rid of this stupid..." Just then, she saw Natsu coming up the road. "Yes! Natsu, catch!" She threw the box as hard as she could muster. Loke watched with fascination and coiled to pounce. Lucy bopped him on the nose. "Bad Loke. Not a play toy!"

"Lucyyyy," he yowled. Instantly, he forgot his worries and began sniffing her hand again. "You smell gooooood!"

"Yuck! Whatever." She held her hand up, and he rubbed his face into it.

Natsu managed to catch the box, but when he looked over, he saw Lucy grinning weirdly with Loke hanging onto her back. "Yo Lucy, do you have something in your hair?" he asked.

She hummed a question, looked behind her, and saw Loke with massive, wild eyes, batting at the ends of her blond hair.

"It dangles," he whispered. "Shhhh, I'm gonna catch the golden fairy."

"Get away from my hair, idiot. Natsu, take that box as far away from here as you can."

The pink-haired dragon slayer opened the tin and looked inside. "Oy, this smells funny. It isn't something illegal, is it?"

"What? No! Just...just get it away from here."

Happy was suddenly hanging over Natsu's shoulder drooling at the opened box. "Catniiiiiiip!"

Natsu stared at the blue cat weirdly. "What the..."

"Good luck," Lucy waved with a grin. "Loke, come. Come on boy. Here kitty-kitty. Get back inside the house."

He followed obediently and attached himself to her shoulders, batting at her hair from time to time. She dragged him along to her bedroom, made him lie on the bed, and watched as he curled up into a tight ball.

"Pet meeeee!" he yowled loudly.

She sighed and obeyed, stroking his head and listening to the Lion Spirit purr. It was...sort of cute, actually.

"Maybe it wasn't such a bad gift after all," she decided.

He laid his head in her lap and rubbed against her in contentment. "Still want tuna."

She laughed, leaned over, and planted a small kiss on his forehead. "All right, we can go out after the catnip wears off. I bet you'll have quite the case of munches."

**End of Chapter 1  
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><p><em>AN: BTW, catnip tea is really quite good. It's part of the mint family and is a mild sedative for humans._

_I've added another chapter and might make this into an on-going series of one-shots based on catnip. Considering I still crack up every time I read through this, I hope the rest of you like it too.  
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	2. Double Entendre

Chapter 2

**Double Entendre**

Lucy was enjoying a small lunch in Fairy Tail's guild hall when Loke suddenly sneaked up behind her, grabbed her around the shoulders, and leaned his cheek against hers. She squeaked at the sudden attack, reached for her Keys, but saw the fluffy orange mane just in time.

"Hey Llllllucy," Loke said with a gentle, purr-like tone. In a seductively low voice, he said, "I _really_ enjoyed last night."

Mirajane suddenly dropped a glass, and the sound of it shattering brought over the attention of everyone.

"Stupid Lion," Lucy muttered, blushing brightly. "Don't say it like that."

"But it was a lot of fun, and I know you enjoyed it, too. You were squealing so loudly. Lucy," the Lion whispered hotly, practically smothering her. "I want more!"

"No! Loke, we agreed..."

"Once a week, I know, but...I want it _now_," he said with a hungry growl.

Carla flew up and covered Wendy's ears.

"Come on, tell the truth," he egged on with a gleam in his tinted glasses. "You wanna try it a second time, right? I know you had fun. You even finally admitted it was a good idea to give it to me."

Cana spit out her beer and gawked in shock. "Give...it...to him?"

"I...I guess so," Lucy reluctantly admitted with a blush. "It was a little cute."

Gray raised an eyebrow and muttered to himself, "I never thought a woman would consider _that_ to be _cute."_

Juvia said to herself, "Juvia thinks Gray-sama's is very cute!"

"But I don't have any more of...that stuff," Lucy told him. "We can't do it without the supplies."

"Don't worry," Loke said, smiling with a sense of pride. "I went out and bought some of my own. I'm prepared this time."

Elfman nodded proudly to himself. "It's manly to always be prepared for a woman!"

"Please, Lucy," Loke begged with a childishly whiny tone as he rubbed his face against her cheek. "You have the afternoon free, right? So let's sneak back to your house. Please? It won't take long."

"Won't take long?" she exclaimed. "You were at it all night. You were yowling so loud, my neighbors complained. I didn't get a minute of sleep. And you got too rough with me."

He pouted stubbornly with his bottom lip puckered out cutely. "I only pounced on you four times."

Juvia's mouth dropped. She was just about ready to scratch Lucy off her list of love rivals (and she had quite a long list).

"Yeah, well, the first time really hurt. I couldn't sit for a whole day."

Across the room, Natsu flared up. "Loke hurt Lucy?" His anger faltered and he looked over to Lisanna. "Uh...how exactly did he hurt her?"

She smiled and patted his arm sympathetically. "You'll understand one day."

Loke cried out in anguish. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm really sorry, Lucy. I didn't want to hurt you at all, just...when I smelled it...I dunno, I just lost control."

Gajeel mumbled to himself, "She does smell rather good."

Loke sighed in dejection. "Really, I'm sorry I was so rambunctious. Will you forgive me? Please?"

Lucy glared at him. "You could go do it by yourself."

"But it's way more fun with you. Besides, I like how you pet me afterwards."

She smiled with a faint blush. "Yeah, I guess you were sort of cute curled up and worn out like that."

Levy was devouring every word and savoring each mental image created by this conversation.

"Pleeeeeease?" Loke begged. "I'll be good, I promise. It'll be a lot better the second time, now that we know what to expect."

Lucy sighed and finished off her sandwich. "Just this once. After this, we really will cut it down to once a week."

"Awww, thank you so much, Lucy. You're the best owner ever. I love you!" Loke declared.

"Yeah, yeah," she chuckled, hurrying out of the guild with the Lion following right behind her. "But seriously Loke, you're a helpless addict."

"With you around to play with me, how can I resist?"

"Well, if you keep it up, this is going to affect our ability to take jobs. I can't work if you're wanting it all the time, and all you do is sleep afterward. One way or another," she said as she pushed past the guild hall doors, "I'm going to help you cut down on all this catnip."

The whole guild stumbled at that last sentence.

"Catnip?" Cana yelled, but the Celestial Mage and her Spirit were gone.

Mirajane sighed and shook her head. "And here I was hoping something good finally happened between those two."

Juvia glared. "Still a love rival."

Happy began to drool. "She has..._catnip_?"

**End of Chapter 2**

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><p><em>AN: Oh, come on! What did you think he was talking about?_


	3. Natsu's Mistake

_A/N: __I'm still on vacation in California, but my Muse knows no such concept as "vacation." __Enjoy! Remember, I'm unworthy of being the creator of _Fairy Tail_; I'm only weird enough to dream up these insane plots._

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

**Natsu's Mistake**

Natsu and Happy laughed as they recalled something that happened between Jet and Droy that afternoon. They were sad Lucy missed the hilarious scene, so they hurried to her house, hoping to catch her there, and Natsu secretly hoped he could sleep in her bed for a little bit. He always felt better after a nap enveloped by the smell of her sheets.

Just as he was getting ready to jump onto the window (his normal means of entering her house) he heard strange noises from inside, two voices in the midst of a heated argument. Then there was a crash.

"Loke, stop!" he heard Lucy shout. "I already told you, no."

"Come on, Lucy. Please," Loke begged with predatory tones. "You know how much I've always wanted to do it with you."

Happy pouted and tugged on Natsu's sleeve. "Maybe we should come back later. They sound busy."

Natsu's brow tightened as he heard the shouting inside. It was none of his business, but this sounded different from Lucy's normal fights with Loke.

"You wanna try it, don't you, Lucy?" the Zodiac Lion urged. "You'll love the taste."

"Hey, stop it already," she yelled. "Put that away! I said I don't want to."

"You don't even know how fun it can be."

"It's not like this is my first time."

"Not your first...when?" Loke shouted furiously. "With whom?"

"It doesn't matter. Oh, and I'm confiscating that."

"What! Give it back. You devious little vixen..."

"__Kyaaaaa!__" Lucy shrieked, then she laughed. "Stop, stop, that tickles. Hey! No! No, not there. Loke, I'm serious stop. Let go of my shirt. What are you...? No!" she shouted in fear. There was a crash, then a sound of a soft thump and grunt, like Lucy hit something. "Ow, you idiot, that hurt. Stop. Loke, get...get off of me. Stop it already. You're hurting me."

Natsu felt his blood boiling. How dare that playboy touch __his__ Lucy! Nobody hurt __his__ Lucy. Happy looked up to him in worry. He saw Natsu's fists already tightening until the veins bulging out and his teeth gritting until the small fangs ground into the bottom jaw. Natsu looked ready to leap in there and fight.

"Let go of me! No means no!"

"I bet you'd do it with Natsu. Wouldn't you?"

"Well, I...I guess," she said timidly.

Natsu could barely hear her from where he was standing. Still, he heard enough, and the tension in his jaw loosened until his mouth dropped open. _'__She guesses? Does that mean she would...do it...with me?'_

"See," Loke shouted. "You'd do it with him, you'd do it with Gray, and I bet you'd even do it with Cana or Mirajane."

"Cana's not into that, but I did...experiment a little...with Mirajane."

Natsu's eyes bugged. Experimenting? And with sweet Mira of all people?

"Did Mira's taste good?"

"I guess so. Sorta sweet."

"A woman like her...it'd be a hundred times better with me. It'd be way more fun for you, trust me."

"But with you there's the possibility of...hey, quit it! You'll rip my blouse."

"Please Lucy, just lift up your shirt, be a good girl, and let me at it. You'll like it too, I promise. I know what I'm doing. I'm an expert at this sort of thing."

"Hey, I...I said no. Get off! __Kyaaaaaa!__"

Now Natsu was determined to bust in there. He looked down to Happy. Even the cat looked indignant that Loke would dare treat a woman like this.

"Loke, stop. Let go of my clothes."

"Aww, but Lucy, I'll be good, I promise."

"No, get off of me. You're gonna rip my blouse."

"Just...a little...more," Loke huffed, followed by a scream from Lucy.

Natsu had heard enough. Even if Loke was a member of Fairy Tail, no one treated Lucy that way. "Let's go, Happy!"

"Aye, sir!"

He leaped into Lucy's window and saw a struggle taking place on the bed. Lucy was down, Loke was on top of her trying to yank her shirt up, while Lucy held her breasts protectively. Natsu growled fiercely and pounced straight from the window toward the bed, hitting Loke square in the chest. They tumbled onto the floor and smashed together against the wall. Loke looked stunned, then opened his eyes to see Natsu straddling him, his face as fierce as a dragon, his fist pulled back with flames flickering wildly in anger.

"Natsu, it's okay," Lucy shouted, tugging her shirt down and crawling to the edge of the bed.

"Hey there, Natsu," Loke grinned foppishly. "Wanna join us?"

"Join you?" he seethed.

Loke looked past the dragon slayer and back to the bed. "Would you agree to do it if Natsu is here with us?"

Lucy sighed and sank a little. "I...well...yeah, I guess that'd be okay."

Natsu looked around fast. "Wh-what?" He felt his heart skip a beat.

"Then it's settled," Loke grinned in triumph. "Having Happy here too will just make it even more fun."

The blue Exceed drew back a step. "But I'm a cat."

"I'd prefer if you and Happy just watched us," Lucy pouted, staring down at her manhandled shirt. Natsu swallowed hard as his cheeks flushed.

"Oooh no," Loke chuckled naughtily. "I'm joining in. Happy can too if he wants. I have a feeling it's something he's __always__ wanted to try."

Happy rose his paw up in oath. "Not even once!"

"Well...okay then," Lucy whispered, and she began to pull the lower edge of her shirt up her stomach and past her lower ribs.

Natsu was so stunned, Loke easily pushed him off. The poor boy just flopped to the ground, watching Lucy's pale torso being exposed little by little while her face twisted in uncertainty.

"Lucy," Natsu whispered, but his throat felt too tight to talk. "I...we...we really don't have to..." Oh, who was he kidding? He was a healthy teenage boy. Of course he wanted to! Just not with Loke there.

With her shirt pulled up to the lacy bottom edge of her bra, Lucy then reached in. Natsu's face went red as he saw Lucy groping herself. Her huge bosom shifted and jiggled with her fingers. He began to stare a little too hard, and he quickly wiped his nose just in case blood was trickling out. Then her hand pulled out, and she quickly lowered her shirt.

Aww, was she chickening out? Well, he hardly blame her. He even felt a little relieved. After all, he was inexperienced in this sort of thing, whereas Loke had two to five different girlfriends a week. Lucy said it was not her "first time" either. That put a lot of pressure on him. Of course, he would rather have Lucy to himself.

Then he realized Lucy had something in her hand, a small plastic bag filled with dried leaves.

"Is that...?" Happy began in astonishment.

Loke strode up to the bed and snatched it away. "Little vixen, stealing my stash! I paid good money for this stuff."

"Can you brew it without going crazy?" she asked.

"No, which is why I brought it here for you to help me. I can get it measured out and started, that's all. I've never been able to have a proper catnip tea party because I forget about the brewing until it's way too strong. I always wanted to host one, too, and now I can do it, but only if you take the leaves out of the tea after five minutes, then reheat it after I've calmed down. Being able to do this is a life-long dream for me. Come on, Happy!"

"Aye, sir!" the blue cat drooled, following the bag of catnip as if it was a favorite toy.

Lucy stood up and walked over to where Natsu still sat on the floor. "Just what the heck were you doing, jumping through my window and attacking him?"

"He...you...I heard a scream," he said in confusion.

"He was trying to get at that catnip I took from him, that's all. It was my mistake for hiding it down my blouse."

He looked at her blouse, then to the door where he heard Loke rummaging around in the kitchen. "So then why did you want me here?"

"Oh, that. You see, Loke wants to host a catnip tea party. People can drink catnip tea too, you know. However, I told him I didn't want him having his tea party here. I know how he reacts to catnip."

They suddenly heard from the kitchen, "_Waaaaahahahahaaaaa!_"

"_Ayyyiiiyiiiyiiieee sirrrrrrrrrr!_"

She waved her hand toward the other room to show that __this__ was what she meant.

"Oh...okay," Natsu said, slowly trying to piece it all together. "So, that part about you and Mirajane?"

"Huh? Oh, you heard even that much? A few weeks ago, Mira hosted a catnip tea party for Wendy and Carla. Those two at least acted nicely. Carla is actually quite lovable when doped on catnip. Personally, I think Wendy should keep her that way all the time."

Happy flew into the room and rammed into Natsu's bare chest. In one rushed breath, he said all smashed together, "What was that about Carla and catnip and does she have catnip and is she really cute on catnip and lovable and cute huh-huh-huh is she really cute maybe I should get her a fish and stuff it with catnip and then maybe she will like that and she'll get all sweet and happy on catnip and one thing will lead to another and then to another and another and another and maybe... _waaaaaaaaaah_ Lucy's hair dangles!" He began to fly at her, but Natsu hugged him close while Lucy scuttled back.

"Dammit, I forgot about the hair issue," she grimaced.

"Luuuuuuuuuucyyy!" Loke raced into the room next. "Tea is boiled and the catnip is brewing and it'll all be done in five minutes and then we can all sit down for a nice cup of tea and maybe some scones and maybe some..." He stopped his fast rambling and suddenly crouched down. "Shhh...the gold fairy is back. Imma gonna get the gold fairy this time."

Lucy bopped him on the nose. "Bad Loke. Go sit on the couch."

"Awww Lucyyy," he yowled, but obediently stalked away. "Heheheee, hey Happy, come here." The blue cat pounced off from Natsu and flew off. "I see a dangly and it's sparkly and if you do this then it..." There was a crash in the other room. "Oops."

Lucy pulled her hair back into a bun and sighed. "I need you here, Natsu, if only to deal with him. I hope you don't mind getting dragged into this."

"Oh, uh...no problem. Sure thing," he smiled awkwardly, getting over the confusion and slight disappointment.

"Waaaaaaaaaah it dangles!"

"Aye sirrrrrrrrrr!"

"Haha, Happy I like how you purr that sir."

"Purr the sir? Stir the fur."

"Spur the cur."

"Blur the burr."

"Slur demur."

"Were so sure."

"Her liqueur."

"Oui monsieur!"

"Haha! Happy sounds like Reedus now."

"Aye sir!"

Lucy shook her head and walked toward the kitchen, passing between Loke crouched in front of Happy starting a new rhyming game. "This is going to be one insane tea party."

Natsu followed her closely and patted her shoulder. "That's why I'm here, Lucy. To protect you, even from drugged-up kitties."


	4. Fish Fight

_A/N: _The last time I updated this was December 2011. It's been a while!_ This idea came from chatting with Celebwen Telcontar. It was kind of a joke, but I thought it was epic and had to write it ASAP._

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

****Fish Fight****

Fights between mages were a normal occurrence in Fairy Tail. However, nobody could remember when _Happy_, of all people, challenged another mage to a fight.

Let alone someone a strong as Loke!

Yet here they were, both a bit beaten up already, panting, round kitty eyes glaring at the pointed gaze of a Lion. Loke had claw scratches on his arms and face; Happy had charred hair from burning flashes of light and a swollen bruise on his cheek from a well-placed punch. All around them, tables laid in disarray, flipped over, smashed to pieces, with mages standing to the sidelines, totally clueless what to do about this utterly uneven brawl. Lucy had desperately tried to stop them, but when that didn't work, she raced off to find Natsu. If Happy would listen to anyone, it was him.

"It's mine, Loke," the Exceed hissed, crouched and ready to pounce.

A low growl rumbled in the Lion's chest. "Lucy bought it, so obviously it's meant for me."

"_Ano_," Wendy muttered timidly, pressing her forefingers together. "Actually, Lucy bought that fish for me and Carla..."

"Of course!" Happy shouted over her, startling the little girl. "Lucy said last week that she would buy me a fish so that I could give it to Carla as a get-well present."

Loke scoffed at such reasons. "Lucy told _me_ yesterday that she was going to make me sushi. Obviously, this fish was meant for our romantic dinner." He glared hard. "And I'm _not_ handing it over!"

"You and Lucy? Keep dreaming, pervy-Lion!"

Loke scowled, and it almost seemed like his orange hair fluffed up more in cat-like rage. "Look who's talking, tuna-breath. With an ungentlemanly attitude like this, Carla will never accept a fish from you, so just admit you've lost."

"That's not true! She's just shy. You've already confessed to Lucy, and she turns you down every time. Maybe if you stopped flirting with every girl you see like a cat in heat, Lucy would allow you to kiss her, rather than shove your face away every time you try."

"Maybe if you stopped being as destructive and that Dragon Slayer, Carla would at least accept your fish and call you something better than _male cat_. Lucy calls me her prince!" he boasted.

"You're the only one who calls yourself a prince," Happy shouted.

He leaped into the air, white wings magically appeared, and he divebombed Loke's head, knocking his blue sunglasses off. Then while Loke was distracted, Happy grabbed the fish in question.

"That's Lucy's sushi dinner for me, you stupid cat-thief. Unforgivable!" Loke's hands went together, and a brilliant golden glow radiated from his ring. "Regulus Impa-..."

"Loke!"

He was frozen by that woman's voice and looked around in shock. "L-Lucy!"

Happy had his sharp claws poised, flying in a rage at Loke with the fish in his mouth and bloodlust in his eyes. However, just before he could scratch him up, a hand shot out and grabbed Happy by the tail. He was yanked back hard and into a white scarf.

"Natsu?" he asked in shock.

The dragon slayer looked down in disapproval. "Why would you pick a fight with Loke?"

"My fish!"

Natsu pulled out a massive fish, three times larger than the one they were fighting over. Happy's mouth dropped open, and the smaller fish fell onto a nearby table. He began to drool at the size of the catch.

Natsu gave him a beaming smile. "What have I always told you? Leave small game alone and aim for something bigger."

"Aye, sir!"

Meanwhile, Lucy stomped up to Loke and bopped him on the nose. "Really! Picking a fight with Happy? Have you no shame as a Lion?"

"He started it," Loke insisted, pointing at the cat who was now drooling all over Natsu's shoulder as he eyed the huge fish. "He was trying to steal the fish you brought in. That fish is for our sushi dinner tonight, right? You promised!"

"_That_ fish is absolutely no good for sushi," Lucy told him. "I bought it for Wendy to make Carla a nice dinner since she was sick all week." She sighed and rubbed out a vein pounding in her head. "Honestly, you're a real idiot. I said I'd buy you sushi, not make it myself. I bought some especially for you, too."

Loke's eyes gleamed with hearts. "You bought something just for me?"

"Yes, your favorite kind, and I even got you this." She held up a pouch with dried leaves on the bottom.

Loke's body leaned in eagerly. "C-c-c-catnip? You got me catnip. Oh, Lucy!" He puckered his lips and leaned in, but she pressed her hand out, easily holding him back.

"Apologize to Happy right now or you don't get any."

Loke turned to where Happy and Natsu stood. "Sorry about punching you."

Happy said nothing at first, and Natsu stared down firmly. "Happy, apologize as well, or no fish."

Happy was still in a fish-daze as he muttered, "Sorry for scratching you, Loke."

Natsu looked over to Lucy, and she nodded. That was good enough. At least there should be no bad feelings when their team went on another mission. Still, all this ruckus...

"CATNIP!" Loke grabbed Lucy into a hug. "You really got me some. And sushi! Oh Lucy, you're the best princess ever."

"Waaah, let me go! Can't...breathe..."

Loke suddenly lifted her into his arms. "We'll celebrate with catnip now. I'll have bad munchies afterward, so we can eat later. _Catnip!_" He ran out of the guild with Lucy flailing and screaming at him to put her down.

Happy looked over to Natsu. "I want catnip, too."

"No," the dragon slayer said firmly. "I'm still paying for damages from the last time you had some. Come on, we'll go cook up this fish."

"Aye, sir!"

Wendy walked over to the fish. It was a bit beaten up with Happy's teeth marks in it, but somehow it was still in one piece. "I suppose I can still make Carla some fish soup with this." She sighed and shook her head. All this fighting over one fish!


End file.
